"High-Minded Sex:" The Erotic Eight to the Fornicating Four?

Today, Literary Hub announced the outcome of the second round of it's single-elimination competition for best depiction of sex in literature.  The starting point was what the service identified as the "erotic eight," which I assume means the outcome will be identified as something along the lines of "the fornicating four" -- as opposed to the more conventional "final four."

Today being April Fool's day, it is hard to know whether the decisions of the distinguished judges should be taken seriously, but having written up the first elimination round, I'll play along with the game. As was the case yesterday, the actual passages of "literary sex writing" will not be reproduced on this blog. But links will be supplied for the convenience of readers who can't resist seeing what the fuss is all about.


In the first elimination round, competing passages were grouped by time period, so, for instance, authors writing before Jame Joyce's "Ulysses" was published, competed only against each other. This time, the organizers opted for "an atemporal free-for-all of sexy lit."

Judge Garth Greenwell, who, among other attributes, holds degrees from Harvard and the Iowa Writers Workshop, selected Philip Roth's passage from "Portnoy's Complaint" over a passage from "The Storm" by Kate Chopin, largely on the view that the "vague extravagance" of certain Chopin metaphors "drain all the oxygen from the scene."  This is odd because in the first round of the competition, Greenwell picked D.H. Lawrence over Zora Neale Hurston because he found Lawrence's sex metaphors appealingly "over-the-top." Moreover, whereas yesterday Greenwell liked Lawrence for being more joyful about sex, in this round he prefered Roth's "coarse" and "vulgar" depiction over Chopin's "tender" and "reverent" approach.

My take: Huh? This appears to be about as inconsistent as a judge can get -- akin a baseball umpire who favors the high-end of the strike zone one inning and calls low strikes the next. In addition, as I noted yesterday, when it comes to writing about sex, Roth is about as commercially exploitative as it gets. Let's hope this guy get knocked out in the next round.

Next, judge Naomi Jackson, also identified with the Iowa Writer's Workshop, picked Jeanette Winterson, who she identified as "one of my favorite writers of lesbian desire," over Jean Genet. "What more can we want from a lover than to fill each new day with 'fresh tides of longing'? And don’t we all wish we had sex organs (or access to a lover’s) capacious enough to carry a starfish?"

My take: Ok, let's give Winterson credit for not mixing her metaphors, but a starfish in certain rather sensitive locations? Having seem many, very large starfish in Puget Sound before they disappeared as a result of a mysterious disease, I don't think so. This notion definitely expands the boundaries of kinky. At the same time, however, I wasn't too sad to see Genet pushed overboard.

Third, Jude Roxane Gay, with no explanation whatsoever,  chose a passage from James Baldwin's "Giovanni's Room" over one from Bram Stocker's "Dracula."

My take: Ms Gay must be turned off by blood-lust sex in a big way, because Baldwin's tender, sensitive portrait of a homosexual encounter is far from her declared preference for sex scenes that "put two (or more) bodies together. Make them sweat and strain." I'm with her on her decision anyway. Stocker's joy over the sexual pleasure of "sharp teeth" got as far as it deserved to get.

Lastly, Judge Sarah Nicole Prickett, editor of "Adult," a magazine of "new erotics,"  oped for the decidedly vintage erotics of D.H. Lawrence over those of the postmodernist, "sex-positive feminist" writing of Kathy Acker.  Here's what she said: "Look, I just can’t resist a sentence part like 'melting all molten inside.' Or 'unconscious inarticulate,' which, since it’s impossible for the woman to feel all this unconsciously, makes it a classic rape fantasia. The sea anemone wants what it wants."

My take: starfish, sea anemones? Who knew that good sex was all about spiky, slimy sea creatures. But I'm with her on Lawrence (no surprise). Lady Chatterley thoroughly deserved her "over the top" pleasures.

The next round, which will pick the finalists, pits Lawrence against Baldwin and Roth against Winterson. Too bad. I'd rather see both Lawrence and Baldwin have a chance to be crowned champion.